I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
