Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
