I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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