I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
