D3 body, D1 cock
She is in my trunk
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
