I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
