my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
