if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
