just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
