...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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