I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
