ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
