Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
