just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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