You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
