how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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