a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
