Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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