He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he thought i was a dude.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
