I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
