Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
