i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
