with your own penis?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
