apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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