Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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