my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
