So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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