I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize