You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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