i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
