I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
