They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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