sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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