So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
