ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
