no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
this hospital has no fireball
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
