drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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