That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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