people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
