He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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