First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
