How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
