Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
