Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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