so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
