shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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