Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
