i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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