Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
