I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
