i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
