why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
