I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
