so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
