i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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